Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Excitement Interrupted

It is after the rejuvenation of break that the greatest expectations emerge...for a great term, exciting presentations, wonderful professors, student camaraderie. That wide eyed excitement and visions of knowledge left unconquered, diseases to discover...consuming every ounce of energy and left over Starbucks running thru the veins. But then, the reality sets in. It's really a dog eat...uh, me world.


And it really came quick, furious and open jawed this time. The professor I love, is leaving. The professor that was supposed to be (and I was used to) isn't. And the one who did, well, I'll reserve comment until after finals. But lets just say, my expectations are once again dashed into the Buddhist reality that in every expectation there is disappointment and suffering.

Oh nuts! We'll do fine AGAIN, but in those moments of blissful expectation, I dream of those professors of days past that stimulated my mind, my emotions, my spirit and love for medicine instead of dashing them against the rocks of cynicism, politics, business, mythology, fear and lack of basic skills. I am so lucky though to be here, so blessed to still have the notion that I have something to contribute, and happy that I've experienced the best teachers life could offer in courses gone by. It is what it is, and hopefully will get me to USMLE part 1 soon. That is of course if the tidal wave of financial mayhem doesn't swallow us up first.


Don't listen to me. I learned today that men are neurologically challenged, develop slowly and peak at age 40 neurologically, have about 10 minutes of normal, and then begin the slow decline to brain atrophy, demyelination, memory dissolution, and diapers. Women are, it seems, the superior gender and I concede defeat. What the hell was I thinking??