Prognostication at p=.005

I just like to use the terminology I don't understand. That is the beauty of statistics...a language unto it's own, and nobody has a clue what you are talking about. Why is it that so many bogus research papers end up in prestigious journals each year? Excellent use of statistical terminology. Someday I hope to author a quality bogus piece of research detailing the brain suffocating qualities of statistics education. In the meantime, I'll use my software and sea-going police talents to estimate the position of this newest storm as of this coming Saturday. Too fun...SURFS UP DUDE, at p=.05!