Breaks

Break...between terms. A great time to take inventory and figure out how to regroup for the next assault. And the next one will be one for sure. The pinnacle of processing thru the first two years of medical school is the "first" Step exam (part 1)...an assessment of knowledge since starting medical school. It is daunting at best, for even the smartest 20 something. For me, it seems like a beast. But I am blessed with some insight, motivation, and at least a sense of what I need to do to get ready for it. I'm sure I'll be as ready as I can be after the next few months, but I have to stay focused on the goal and the path to success that lies in service to others without expectation of reward.

The other inventory taken during breaks is that of the "other" life; often the one we leave behind when engaged in graduate school. That other life seems more uncomfortable and I feel as inept in it as ever. For nerds like me there is comfort in the one on one study that is medical school. With only me against the process and the knowledge. It is what it is, and so be it is what it is. My worry about it won't change it, or make it feel any more comfortable. Why is it that those so close have the propensity to do the most harm and show the least respect and most disregard? I should cherish and even revere their "honestly", but I don't.

I go back to school more hopeful than ever about the learning, the environment, the stability of the institution, the faculty, and the organization as a whole. The rest, as it has been so eloquently stated, is up to me and I accept that challenge. It's far easier than real life in that regard, and there are no photo reminders of more brutal times. Bearing it alone is so better. A shame I wasn't born in the Aussie "Outback". I believe it's time for a walkabout.

"Without hope of reward, provide help to others. Bear suffering alone, And share your pleasures with beggars." - Nagarjuna, "Precious Garland"