Perspective

I am continually challenged by people. Isn't it amazing how selfish some people are? I love the specimen of human being that feels put out if they have to do something they don't want to do,  but is offended when you won't do what they want to do.

Bible Parable: There was once a girl who wanted to go snowboarding. She'd never done it and was intrigued by trying. So she decided to travel to a place with great snow to do it.  When she announced her intention to her traveling companions, they decided they didn't want to snowboard but encouraged her to go and enjoy the experience. They were happy for her adventurous spirit. She did go and became offended by the fact that her companions didn't want to go.

Later the companions decided to they wanted to go do something else, and asked the girl if she wanted to go. She did go, but in her mind became offended that is wasn't what she wanted to do. She wanted to do something else. She walked around angry the rest of the trip, and then stored away the painful experience to draw upon later. <end>

This specimen of human will now be "double" offended and "put out" in their own minds and begin building a case against others for why they don't want to be with you, or serve you graciously, or take care of you. They are unforgiving, cold hearted, selfish people inside, even though they may be light, cheery, smiling on the outside. This person is so put out by others beyond what they want to do and how they want to do it, and totally neglect the needs of others around them. Worse they judge others by that measure and see people who are flexible and serving in negative terms as "wishy washy" and "soft".

No it's not snowing in the Caribe, but that specimen of human being is alive and well here. In this "what about me" mentality, it rarely matters what other people do, it's never good enough and mostly "wrong". It is amazing how many of those people like that are attracted to medicine. And it's not just here. Recent events and contacts in my life just reminded me of how many there actually are in the field of medicine, pretending to serve others, when they are really just serving themselves.

I'm not trying to build a case for not being in this field. To the contrary, it motivates me to further explore those elements of myself that prevent me from really giving to others in this last part of my life and create a new reality for dealing with patients, staff, and colleagues. It is NOT about me, and never was or is. And it's not a cute "bunny" trait in others. It is totally opposite to empathy, sincerity, serving others and commitment to other in spite of how we "feel".  Living by those feelings is never reality, only the reality we invent.